They leave them out of novels—these incompatibilities. She was never able to trace the changes her attitude had undergone, from the time when she believed herself to be the pampered Queen of Fortune, the crown of a good man’s love (and secretly, but nobly, worshipping some one else), to the time when she realized she was in fact just a mannequin for her lover’s imagination, and that he cared no more for the realities of her being, for the things she felt and desired, for the passions and dreams that might move her, than a child cares for the sawdust in its doll. His manner was deferential, even eager. ‘I do not understand you. “The thing is forbidden!” “I am ready to give up anything that you show to be wrong. Perhaps the day of her recompense was at hand. It was just a shabby, stupid, furtive business that began between us. To preach a fine sermon every Sunday so that he would lose neither the art nor the impulse; and this child, in secret rebellion, taking it down in long hand during odd hours in the week! Preaching grandiloquently before a few score natives who understood little beyond the gestures, for the single purpose of warding off disintegration! It reminded the doctor of a stubborn retreat; from barricade to barricade, grimly fighting to keep the enemy at bay, that insidious enemy of the white man in the South Seas—inertia. She entered the room in the shadows. Detached, it was not impossible that she would be forced to leave the dining room because of invading tears. He pulled on his pants, his yellow shirt with the ridiculous horse logo, his brown socks, and shoes. Somebody to whom she would be necessary, who for days would have to depend upon her for the needs of life. "I am innocent, f have stolen nothing.
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